Just thinking...

I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. I know that isn't big news, everyone thinks about the future, but I've changed a lot as a person in the past few weeks therefore I've been reevaluating my whole life practically. See, where I come from the people think happiness is built through having a family of your very own, all the kids around my age say that want to be married and have kids one day and have a nice house near their parents. So apparantly if you don't have these things you aren't truely happy. I used to laugh at these people, I used to think they were ignorant if you want to know the truth. But lately I've been considering the possibility myself. I wouldn't want to live here, as a matter of fact I want to live in a big city somewhere. But as far as marriage and children, I've been thinking that these things really are important to have a whole, fulfilled life. I've always liked children, thats one of the main reasons I want to be a teacher. But I never really thought of having kids of my own someday. The idea of having a nice family of my very own has actually become quite appealing. I even had a dream last night of what my children would look like. I've always been very independent and before a few weeks ago these thoughts would have scared me. I would have thought that a family would keep me from accomplishing the things I want to accomplish in my life. Now I think just the opposite. I know my family has always supported me and loved me and I know I need a great support system of my own. But these thoughts bring up the question "will I ever find Mr. Right?" I've dated boys. Most of them are still great friends of mine. But not one of those relationships would have ever amounted to anything. I even knew that before we dated. I was just lonely I guess and I needed a companion of sorts. Anyway I'm a little tired of talking about this issue so I suppose if its meant for me to find my knight in shining armour and have little princesses and princes I will, and if its not then thats just fine too.

Much love and peace
Andy